Tuesday, November 28, 2006

How to ruin a great football program

"There are only two kinds of coaches: those who have been fired, and those who will be fired" - Ken Loeffler

The University of Alabama is on the hunt for the next messiah to lead the Crimson Tide back to the promised land of national titles and legendary greatness. The next man who takes the mantle of Coach of the Alabama Crimson Tide should put the quote above this post from Ken Loeffler in his wallet, on his desk, on the refrigerator at home, and somewhere in his car. Having it tattooed somewhere on his person may not be that extreme either.
You see, the University of Alabama runs off coaches like your Paw Paw runs stray cats off the back porch. If the new coach doesn't take the Tide to the 2009 National Championship, he's gone too.
Seriously, having a Head Coach vacancy at Alabama is almost like waiting for the next Papal Election (no offense to my Catholic readers) We take it that seriously here in Dixie. Ask any divorce attorney from Muscle Shoals to Mobile, and they will tell you that they have handled at least one case where the subject of football in Alabama was on the table during some point in the case.
Now, whoever the next coach may be, he will have to make champions out of the shocked and delirious players, some of whom were around to hear Dennis Franchione say, "Hold the rope, boys" and Mike Price slur the words "ROOOOOLLLLLL TIDE BABY" in a drunken stuper. As a lifelong fan of Alabama football, I am sickened at the thought of this parade of coaches that we have been forced to accept. The solution to all of this is simple. Everyone, and I mean everyone who has had any input in the decisions being made in the past 10 years needs to stay out of this search. The time has come for new leadership at the top, and all the way down the line at Alabama. The fans, alumni, and students of this once proud university deserve more than we have gotten since 1993. If Rutgers can do it, so can Alabama.